8 things a woman can do to prevent her man from losing his temper
By doing these 8 things, a woman can stop the cycle of painful and unnecessary arguments between her and her man. Think how great it would be if these simple changes could help turn the tide of your relationship from bad to better.
1) Do not accumulate complaints. Overwhelming a man is easy. Men tend to discuss one point at a time, and women seem to have an amazing ability to remember complaints. A woman will surely win all the arguments if she accumulates her complaints. She will set up a win because men generally don’t have the same memory span. She will only get frustrated and the only way she can balance the equation is to be mean. This usually leads her to list all the things he has done wrong. Her list, whether accurate or not, is overwhelming for her man. All of these memories can be debated, which often happens, and then results in nothing ever being resolved.
2) Settle down with absolutes. The interpretation of what a woman is trying to say is largely ruined by the use of absolutes. Language involving “always”, “never”, “no one”, “everyone”, “nothing”, etc., confuses a man because she takes it literally. These types of words are more emotionally based and are heard by men as a complete lack of appreciation for the efforts she puts forth. A man will think that he is wasting his time trying to please his woman when she uses absolutes. During conversations about potentially heated topics, refrain from using absolutes and notice how much better she responds.
3) Don’t compare him to someone else. Measure your man by what he is capable of, but don’t make statements like, “I wish you were more like Lisa’s husband, Jeff.” People have enough trouble comparing themselves to others. Instead of making these comparisons with a man, it is better to build him up by reminding him of his best qualities. Men listen to the comparisons as another reminder that he is inadequate. He finds out that you are disappointed and unhappy with him in general.
4) Lower your tone of voice. Hostile intentions are perceived when a woman raises her voice. Most people speak louder when they are upset or want her point of view heard. Keep your tone of voice relaxed and calm. You can add an element of assertiveness, but don’t let your tone rise to the point where your statement becomes an attack. Once a person feels attacked, they go into defense mode and will resist listening to anything that suggests that they agree that they have made a mistake or a wrong decision. Not much of anything is accomplished when a person goes into this defensive position. The goal is to keep communication open, not shut it down.
5) Curb your degree of passion. Waves of emotion can set you back. Some women feel things more deeply than others. As a general rule, men aren’t that accused of managing a woman’s emotions anyway. If you are a passionate woman who feels things deeply, be careful not to overwhelm him with an expression of extremely strong emotion. It feels like a force of nature for a man when his woman approaches him with a lot of heartfelt emotion. Do not think that he must listen and understand the depth of your feelings to understand what you are saying. Your immense feelings can cause problems in your relationship. People who insist that their feelings be heard instead of doing the right thing in a relationship often end up in therapy or, worse yet, divorce court. Your feelings can derail your sense of connection in a heartbeat. Extreme expression of feelings can drive your man away; never fully open up to you again.
6) Do not try to make up for the difference in height. Defending yourself physically is only natural if you are attacked. But some women try to balance the situation by getting too close as an initial show of force should offense occur. Yes, some topics have the potential to escalate into a conflict, but ladies, try not to start defensive. Position yourself as approachable and thoughtful. If you try to be ten feet tall and bulletproof as a means to level the playing field, you’ll only set yourself up for an argument.
7) Be willing to say you’re sorry. Humility is a powerful way to keep a man from losing his temper. Women can be just as run-of-the-mill as their man. It may not be in your nature to apologize, but I encourage you to be willing to offer a sincere apology if it really fits the situation. If he messed up or did something hurtful; apologize. I have seen an apology end many arguments in seconds.
8) Tell him you believe in him. Faith in your man is crucial to a great relationship. His belief in his man is very powerful for both of you. Men need to know that his wife believes in him. When she looks at him with eyes of respect and admiration, he feels strong and sure of himself. A woman can convey her belief in him in how she looks at him, how she touches him or in the words she uses. Words can be as plain as “I believe in you.” Words like this can quickly restore a man to his senses and his general position of goodness. Even if you don’t completely believe in him 100 percent, I encourage you to pass this on to him if what you feel is generally true.