A Writer’s Encouraging Words: Use Failure To Motivate You
When was the last time you did what you really wanted to do? And when you tried, how often did you screw it up before you finally gave up on the idea? As you sat in the dark and sulked in your pain, trying to pacify your decision to quit, did you meticulously calculate the man-hours you spent chasing your dream? The reality of all this is enough to send anyone into a deep depression. Maybe that’s why Lawrence Block once said, “If you want to write fiction, the best thing you can do is take two aspirin, lie down in a dark room, and wait for the feeling to pass.”
Sometimes I think of Michael Jordan or Walt Disney when failures bring me to my knees. None of these men had the natural ability to be successful at what they did. Walt Disney threw hundreds of drawings in the trash before one was a hit (1). At one point, she was told that her idea of a cartoon character wouldn’t work because “a giant mouse on the screen would terrify women.” Michael Jordan (2) had one obstacle after another. He lost nearly 300 games, missed more than 9,000 shots, and was hit the ball 26 times to make the game-winning shot and MISSED.
Michael and Walt’s early days are considered unsuccessful attempts at success. Who would sit back and watch a young Jordan miss shot after shot and suggest that one day he might be one of the best players to ever play the game? How many of us would laugh at Walt Disney as he poured out his ideas for bringing mobile cartoons to the big screen? Can you imagine how ridiculous? Can you see the bankers cringe at the idea of extending you another loan? For a cartoon character? With something to prove, these men managed to overcome the mockery and stay focused, using their failures as motivation.
Sometimes I wanted to throw in the towel and get away from my dream of becoming a writer. I made the moves of unplugging my computer, cleaning my office, and putting all the reference books I had in the trash, only to put them back on the shelf, just in case.
All kinds of things got in my way: work, family problems, and the many voices that convinced me that I should pay someone to help me. I heard suggestions for reading one website after another so that I could better learn the art of writing. I do not condemn efforts to help me. In fact, I learned a lot. But sometime along the way I committed a horrible sin. I convinced myself that the others were far superior and there was no way I could measure up to their beautiful ability to create a literary work of art.
No one told me to take criticism in stride or to ignore those who just didn’t understand it. Nobody told me that being a writer was a subjective job. For one person to look at a scene and immerse themselves in it and feel exactly what was happening, while others would take it apart and find a hundred and one things wrong with it, from the number of times I used “it” to the number of times I divided a paragraph in the wrong place.
To stay humble, I took everyone’s opinion / criticism as gospel and reduced my ability to be creative. Before I knew it, my self-confidence was gone. Later I realized that I didn’t know how to filter noise and maintain my own voice. In short, I wanted to please everyone, regardless of the fact that I was the storyteller and could literally do whatever I wanted with my book. One day, in the midst of my confusion, I wondered if I could move on and, if so, how.
There will be days when you won’t be able to write a word. There will even be times when after a bad review you can’t get out of the dugout and leave your hurt feelings behind to finish your edits or write new material. It’s assured though, unless you put your butt in the saddle and keep it there, failure will touch your shoulder just before it burns a hole in your world.
Not long ago, someone did just that. A lady in my critique group emailed me and said that she would be happy to critique the first chapter of my family’s saga. She was friendly, professional, and sent me her credentials as a guarantee of her qualifications. I was honored that this wonderful person shared his time with me. In fact, I was a bit groggy at the idea and could barely sleep that night. I wish I had.
The next day was unnerving. There wasn’t a sentence in the first paragraph that wasn’t torn. Although most of her corrections were spot on, she knocked my self-esteem until it looked like sawdust, which made me wonder why I had the audacity to think that I could write. Needless to say, I decided, “That’s it. I quit.” Later, my husband convinced me not to. Still, my momentum was gone, my identity shattered.
To my surprise, in three or four days, I replaced the desire to quit with the need to eliminate painful comments and validate their criticism. I highlighted everything significant and got rid of the rest. The lesson here? If you think for a minute that you can take honest criticism, think again. My advice: Before reading a review, think about the worst day of your life, then the review will not seem so bad. If you still can’t handle it, enjoy a day spa, go see a romantic movie, then go home and put your feet up, because you’re done.
Writing is a very personal experience. However, it becomes everyone’s business if you plan to deliver your writings to the masses. It’s not okay to waste people’s time writing down what they’ve worked on in an hour without spending twice as much time reviewing it. It’s also not fair to ask a consumer to spend between $ 7.99 and $ 19.99 for a book that their friends approved. Your readers deserve the best product you can produce. That means you will have to go the extra mile to correct and edit it. More importantly, you’re not fair to yourself if you don’t develop a passion for writing (or whatever you decide to do).
Writing should keep you awake at night. It’s common for me to tiptoe up to my computer in the dark and finish an idea spinning in my head. It amazes me when I look up three hours later and realize that it has been so long. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tossled and turned, getting tired, before finally getting up to write.
To be honest, I’d rather write than eat. I hate having to stop in the middle of a scene and go to the bathroom or take a lunch break. I’ve skipped more meals than I can count (and haven’t lost a pound of cellulite yet) and have nibbled on hard, crusty bread so I can keep writing and not break my concentration.
For me, there is something fascinating about the English language that challenges me to rearrange every sentence I look at. I can’t sit back and watch a scrabble game without mentally jotting down an unfamiliar word and then looking it up in the dictionary. I long to create words that seem to jump off the page, hit with rhythm, whip in the air, lull him to sleep, or sing as softly as the sound of a hummingbird’s wings. It’s nice when I challenge my readers to love villains, hate heroes, and feel the fire between two lovers.
To achieve this, I must first believe in myself. I must strive to believe that beyond all the hanging modifiers, misused words, running sentences, unnecessary adjectives, and word sentences (like this one), a story is in the making. The cure for poorly written manuscripts is reading and writing, and more writing and reading. Sure, I can spend $ 199 for an online class. There is nothing wrong if you have the cash. There is also nothing wrong with taking a creative writing course at your community college. But I assure you that nothing will cure what ails a writer but writing and reading, reading and writing.
Maybe you don’t want to be a writer. Maybe you want to be something else. Go for it! But beware. You will have all kinds of cheerleaders: those who will say you can’t and those who will say you can; those who will say that it is impossible and those who will say reach for the stars. You can be sure that none of those voices really matter except yours. What good is it if someone says you can, but inside your head it buzzes: “I really can’t do this. I don’t have the skills. It will take a long time. I don’t have the education.” Those excuses simply explain who you are: a beloved soul with low self-esteem. Are you willing to allow these excuses to lock you up?
Writing is one of the most difficult professions in the world, yet millions of people have succeeded in it. And here are two concrete truths: no two people have the same writing skills, and not all published writers write well. Still, you should do what good writers do. It’s imperative that your old ideas get a new twist, or come up with a new idea (good luck with this one). Then it is necessary that you stand in the chair, fail half a dozen times, throw things, lose sleep and, if necessary, ruin yourself and continue to fantasize about your dreams until they become reality. Unless you have a physical disability that prevents you from implementing these things, there is absolutely nothing standing in the way of becoming a writer.
So, sit back in your chair and join me on this stressful journey to success. Take whatever ideas you have and hammer it in until you’ve accomplished everything imaginable. There will be obstacles, so don’t pretend they aren’t coming. Rather, prepare for them. Think of yourself as abnormal if no obstacles arise. However, decide to move on. At 64, if Diana Nyad can successfully swim from Cuba to Florida, you and I can become better writers. This document proves my success. Show the world yours.
(1) The life and times of Walt Disney.
(2) Business Insider: Thomas Edison and Michael Jordan were failures.
http://www.businessinsider.com/thomas-edison-and-michael-jordan-were-failures-2010-9