Breakups – How to Respond to "you deserve someone better"

When a relationship is coming to an end, little makes sense. This is even more apparent if you are the person being dumped. Depending on how compassionate your lover is, they may try to disappoint you easily. A very common phrase that people hear during a break up is “you deserve better”. If you’re on the receiving end of that, you might be a bit taken aback. What exactly does it mean and what specifically should I say in response to it?

When your lover says, “You deserve better,” you probably take it to mean that he or she doesn’t think he’s good enough for you. It’s touching when someone says that because you assume it means they really value you and think they can’t measure up. However, don’t get carried away until you really understand the intent behind the words. Your ex is counting on you taking it as a compliment, when you really shouldn’t. It is likely that all they are doing is trying to easily disappoint you.

The belief behind the idea that you deserve a better partner suggests that your ex doesn’t value himself enough. You are a great judge of whether that is true or not. If your ex has never shown any signs of having confidence issues, then you know that he already believes that he is the best and that this is just a clumsy attempt to break up with you without breaking your heart.

The best way to respond when someone says that you deserve to be with someone better is to agree with them. Obviously, you shouldn’t tell your partner what you think is missing if you hope to one day have a future with them. But it’s a great idea to agree that, for now, the two of you may not be the right match.

The reason this is such an effective response for them is that it takes control away from them and puts it back on you. You are no longer the one wondering what their words mean and you are not left with the impression that the reason they left you was because they wanted to set you free to find a better mate. Your former partner is now the one feeling the confusion and wondering whether or not he ever saw you as a compatible couple. The benefit of this is that you will still be on their mind and they may even set out to prove you wrong and that they are, in fact, perfect for you.