Finding Your PMZ (Postmenopausal Zest)

You know the drawbacks of getting older, but there really are some advantages. If you’re married and/or have children, if you’re the caregiver for elderly parents, if you’re building your career, you can’t really focus on your own personal needs. There are too many other sweaters on you.

But, once you have done or not done all these things (for example, get married or not, have children or not, build your career or not), you are in a different life space. You know where you have achieved; you know where you failed. Now is it time to see what’s next? This is what I call the Next Void.

Getting to this point could happen just before a big birthday (40, 50, 60) or it could happen when you get a pink note or when your husband walks away from you. But it can also happen when you are crossing the street and see a beautiful tree. That is, it can happen at any time. Aimyou have to be “old” enough and wise enough to know that now is the time to focus on yourself.

This could be the day you can barely get out of bed, feeling like menopause is sapping your youth and energy. This may be the day you say, “Isn’t there something positive about losing a monthly bodily function that causes me pain and is no longer needed in my life?”

This could be the day you say you’re looking for MZ, Menopausal Zest. The energy that comes from letting go of what you no longer need, whether it’s your period, a job that’s too small for you, a relationship that’s stalled.

Getting older gives you the freedom to say, “Now is my time.” And then you need to dig up your “missing something”, which makes you feel bored, bored, tired of the same old thing.

How did you manage to find this lost something? How do you search for your MZ?

1. The first thing you need is time to think and reflect. You may have to get away from your daily routine, away from people who have demands and expectations of you. Even if you can only get a few hours, take it yourself.

2. Next, you need to look inward and listen carefully. Whose voice is it that says you are “selfish” if you do something for yourself that may hurt or disappoint others?

3. Once you recognize that voice, write a letter to that person, your mother or father, your husband or even a sister who is not doing as well in life as you are. Or maybe it’s a childhood religious leader, who instilled in you the courage and honor of selfless women. (A woman who is “selfless” is one who has less of herself.) You don’t have to explain anything to this person; You don’t have to defend yourself. You just have to tell the person what you are going to do for yourself and say goodbye. Something like: “I am releasing you now; you no longer have the power to stop me.”

4. This next step can be very useful, but it may be even more difficult than any of the previous ones (which may have been difficult). Write a letter of this person for you. You have the opportunity for the person to release you from the previous messages. You have the opportunity for the person to wish you well and encourage you to keep going and succeed, even if it’s something that person could never do on their own.

Don’t be surprised if you need to take time off to be alone so you can think more precisely about what you want and how to get there; how to deal with family and friends who may be jealous of you focusing on yourself and thus may subtly sabotage your efforts.

If these steps are difficult, talk to friends, read some self-help books, attend a weekend getaway like Unique Women’s Retreats, however anything that gives you the support to stick with it. At this point in your life, you are entitled to your MZ.