Getting Your Boyfriend Back: From a Boy’s Perspective

When a guy breaks up with you, it’s not always the end. Most of the time, we are tired of stress and fighting; We just want a break from constantly having to deal with those things. Sometimes we actually break up with a girlfriend to go out with someone else, and while this hurts more than usual, it is at least better than being cheated on.

Regardless of how your relationship ended, if you want to win back an ex boyfriend, you will have to learn what to do … and what NOT to do. Below are some deep insights into the male mind; essentially what we’re thinking right after the relationship ends.

First of all, we want to avoid you. Immediately after a breakup, things get weird for us. Watching you can be extremely uncomfortable, which is why your ex suddenly seems “cold” immediately after your relationship ends. He’s not being mean, he’s doing it for his own reasons, not yours. A guy doesn’t want the conflict or scrutiny that comes from seeing you after the relationship, so avoiding it is easier.

Getting scarce in this day and age will go a long way toward getting a man back. If he can somehow get out of sight, we suddenly wonder where he went. Crazy, right? But it’s true. As much as we feel uncomfortable around you, we want to know where you are … what you are doing … who you are with. Although we initiate the breakup, any residual feelings can still cause jealousy. One of the most comforting things for a man is seeing his ex-girlfriend upset, at home and alone. It makes us feel like we’ve made the right decision.

But on the contrary, seeing you with friends and having fun is like poison for us. No man wants to think that a girl has more fun without him than she has with him. Even if you are convinced that you have no feelings or need a break, seeing your ex smiling and laughing right after a breakup is a huge blow to your ego. This leads him to wonder: if this girl is so funny, why the hell did I leave her in the first place? Getting your boyfriend back is about putting him in this state of mind.

Another big problem after the breakup: contact. Although you are still in the awkward initial stages, we don’t want to talk to you just yet. However, that doesn’t mean we don’t want you to call. Again, a man always wants to know that he still wants him. Seeing your number on your caller ID is food for your ego. This verifies that you feel lonely and he is satisfied that you are not going anywhere while you keep calling his phone.

On the other hand, looking at his phone and not finding any missed calls is very unnerving for a guy who just broke up with his girlfriend. Hope to see you call. Wait for an email, a text message, or a friend of his to speak with him on his behalf. But by NOT doing these things, you have once again piqued their interest. You have altered his expectations and done the exact opposite of what he thought you would do. Simply by doing nothing, you have him wondering.

You see, no matter who you are or how long you’ve been dating, any guy who breaks up with you wants only one thing: to keep the door open to your relationship. Even if only a small crack is open, the fact that the door is not fully closed is comforting to him. Weeks, months, even years later, a man likes to think that he can revisit that relationship if he wants to. Knowing that neither of you closed the door keeps you comfortable; You’re not going to overthink about getting back into a serious long-term relationship unless you’re worried.

This is where you can take some control. There are ways to close the door, or at least almost. By taking that control, you are suddenly altering his comfortable position of being able to revisit your relationship and date you again if it suits him. By moving on with your life and allowing him to see you, you are pulling that door slightly more in his direction. This is what will make your ex want you back: the idea that you are no longer there, even in the smallest capacity.