Digital Marketing

Handling rude questions and awkward moments

Anyone can be rude and inconsiderate.

As I am a writer of books and columns, and because I have read, appeared on radio and television, sometimes I am recognized in public. I’m glad I’m not more recognizable, as alongside the nice comments, gratitude, and praise I receive from many people, others feel compelled to criticize, often in a mean way and often without having read the book or the column they have read. you are criticizing. So, I have been forced to learn to deal with negative comments, even when they are mean and mean to hurt me. Because we are all criticized from time to time, you may find the following ideas helpful.

How you handle an awkward situation depends on whether you are setting limits or not. Most situations can be handled with polite firmness. Sometimes it is difficult to know how to say “no thanks” and make it stick.

If you say “no thanks” several times, then gently tell the person that you don’t like what they are doing, that it makes you uncomfortable, and they still don’t understand, then you should sit them down. down and tell them you won’t let them do that to you.

For example, if a friend makes rude or intrusive comments about your age, you can gently say, “Your comment makes me uncomfortable” or “I appreciate that you think I look good, but I would appreciate it if you didn’t.” how in my age. “If that doesn’t work, then speak up. Say,” When you ask questions about my age, I feel unhappy and it hurts my feelings. “If that doesn’t make things better, then you will need to give that person a” time-out “- walk away. of personal contact and be very polite when you see it. You will get the message loud and clear. Perhaps your friend will ask you “Are you mad at me?” and then can describe what the problem is.

Here are some possible awkward moments and how to handle them.

• You meet someone and you have forgotten their name, so you cannot introduce them to your partner.

This is easily handled with a prior agreement with your partner. My husband knows that if I don’t introduce him right away, I say, “Hi, I’m Richard. I didn’t hear your name.” Then I can say “Oh sorry, I didn’t realize that the two of you had never met.” Or you can take the direct approach. “Sorry, I forgot your name.” Or, if you’re my age, you can say, “Please forgive me, I’m going through an older time and I can’t remember your name.”

• You’re gossiping about someone in the office bathroom and she comes out of the cubicle.

All you can do is say, “I’m sorry. It was rude.” But you can never get it back. That’s why gossip is a very bad idea. Best solution; stop gossiping; It only hurts you and everyone else. Second best option: save the gossip for a private time and place and don’t let your mouth drop. If you gossip in a public area, you never know if a friend or relative of the subject of your gossip is listening to you.

• You show up for a blind date and you don’t like what you see.

I suggest, for all blind dates or first Internet meetings, that a friend or family member call you a few minutes after the date begins. You can ignore the call if you’re having fun, or you can say “Omygosh! I’ll be right there.” on the phone and allege a family emergency. Or you can spend a few minutes having a cup of coffee and then say, “Sorry, I don’t think we’re compatible. Thank you very much.” and leave. Don’t go blind dates for a complicated or expensive affair; make a coffee date first. You should always have your own transportation for a first blind date, and you should not allow an unknown person to meet you at your home. Get together for coffee in a public place.

• Your babysitter asks you for a raise that you don’t think she deserves.

Why do you have a babysitter that you don’t think is good? If you don’t like it, get another babysitter. You can say, “Sorry, this is all we can afford right now.” Don’t wait until she asks for a raise if there are problems, and don’t come up with a litany of problems after she asks for a raise. She won’t believe you; She’ll think you’re just trying to justify not giving her a raise.

• Her mother-in-law buys her daughter an outfit that she doesn’t think is appropriate for a preteen. (Naturally, your child loves it.)

If you can, make some adjustments (like a tank top or a leotard under a bare belly outfit) that will make the outfit more appropriate, so she can wear it. Then let your grandmother see you in it. That will get the message across. If not, return the outfit to Grandma and say, “Susie loves your gift and thanks for thinking of her, but I’m afraid I’m too prudish to let her wear it. I’m so sorry.”

• You receive an inappropriate or surprisingly ugly gift from someone.

Say “Thank you” and accept the gift graciously. Think about the good intentions of the gift, and then later, you can give it to a thrift store or someone else who might like it.

• Someone is commenting on your weight loss and you are not feeling well.

As someone who has lost and gained weight, I understand exactly the problem. The recipient of the compliment (especially those who have been ambiguous) also realize that the commenter must have been critical of their weight, albeit quietly, prior to this. People who want to pay compliments should stick to “wow, you look great.” and refrain from adding the intrusive “have you lost weight?” It’s really a privacy issue, although you can see the weight loss, it’s not really someone else’s business.

If you get such an awkward compliment, just say “thank you” and bring up a different topic, or add “you look good too.” If you don’t allow the nosy (who may have very good intentions) to draw you into a conversation about your weight and health, you will discourage further comment. If you get a really egregious comment like “you were too fat before,” don’t dignify it with an answer. Just look the person in the eye and remain silent. There is no need to say anything to a slap like that. Your silence will speak a lot. Let the silence hang in the air for a moment and then bring up a totally different topic, like “isn’t it a beautiful day?” Or, if you feel very insulted, just walk away and talk to someone else. If you are so upset that you cannot control your response, then say “excuse me” and quickly go to the bathroom, which is a safe haven where you can calm down. The rude “friend” will get the message much more clearly this way than if you lowered yourself to his level and responded in anger.

Handling difficult personalities requires skill and knowledge. Here’s a technique anyone can learn to use that works every time.

Adult time-out

If someone misbehaves in your presence, giving that adult a “break” is a powerful and subtle way to fix the problem. Modern parents use time to discipline young children. The child is sent to a corner, or a room, to think about his behavior. An adult variation of time out also works for any adult friend who is being childish or misbehaving. All you need to do is become very distant and polite to the person who is not treating you well. No talks and personal interactions, no jokes, no emotion. Be very polite, so the person cannot accuse you of being mean, mean, or rude. You do not need to explain what you are doing: the problem person will get the message of your behavior, which is much more effective. If you’ve never tried this, you’ll be surprised how effective it can be to be polite and pleasant but aloof.

Most of the time, your friend’s behavior will immediately become more subdued around you; and often, she or she will treat you with more care. Over time, they may ask what is wrong with you, or why it has changed, and in that moment (and only then) you have the opportunity to tell you what the problem behavior is and why it is not doing it. like. Learning to put unpleasant friends on timeouts right at the beginning of unpleasant behavior can make harsher tactics unnecessary. And if the person’s behavior doesn’t change, you can put it on “time out” and you’re protected.

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