How to easily fall back in love without seeming desperate
Have you been so hurt in your relationships that you have sworn never to love again? Has your heart been broken and torn apart by someone you trusted completely?
I had suffered a lot at the hands of a girl at the beginning of my search for true love. As soon as we met, she presented me with a myriad of bogus conditions that seemed pathetic. She tricked me into thinking she had many family challenges, from her mother being bedridden in her town to her landlady imminently evicting her from her apartment. I saw myself as a godsend to her and was doing everything I could to support her. I paid rent on her house for twelve months. I put food on her table. I covered her nudity and she was constantly running around with her sick mother’s medical bills. On the few occasions when the animal in me would rise up to demand sex from her, my conscience told me that it seemed like she was helping because of the sex. I never deliberately hurt her for any reason. At one point, despite the challenges, I was concentrating on proposing to her.
But along the line, I started to get pressure as my financial reserve was quickly depleting. And to make matters worse, I got fired from my job. I lost my job.
Unbelievably, when my girl found out about this, she started her tactical withdrawal plan. When things were going well, she used to come visit with virtually no warning with one problem or another. And she would do her best to provide a solution(s). But like at the time, she would show up at my house once in a blue moon with a variety of excuses. I’ve been doing laundry all day! I went to the market and got very tired afterwards, etc. She wouldn’t worry about me anymore. I became a nullity to her. I became an idiot for her. And finally, she disappeared.
I was deeply depressed. And I fell comatose for a good six months. When I ‘woke’ out of that coma, I decided there was no way I was ever going to love again.
Surprisingly, statistics from around the world show that he was not alone. Many men and women have been mistreated or abused in relationships that they had sworn never to love again.
But what I have found is that no man is an island. It is love that makes the world go round. I could imagine if it had worked out between the two of us, how blissful it would have been: loving each other so much and experiencing the kind of relationships we had dreamed of together.
I did 3 key things to help myself get out of that pit of pain into the spotlight of love again.
ï‚§ Forgive and forget: I found that the only way to move forward in life and especially in relationships is to free myself and my ex by forgiving and forgetting. It wasn’t easy, I must confess, but I had to make that deliberate effort to make it happen. And I can tell you that it was actually rewarding.
ï‚§ Focus on future relationships: Yesterday was history and it is important that you focus on the present and the future. That experience helped me learn a lot. It helped me reassess my values and set the boundaries of my relationship more appropriately.
ï‚§ Focus on your passion: What are you good at? Or what do you want to be good at? This has a lot to do with self-love. What is it that makes you happy? I rediscovered my passion, and that is helping people get out of their relationship challenges. I have a lot of fun doing it!
Love is worth reigniting regardless of how many times you’ve been disappointed and heartbroken. Open your eyes to see so you can fall in love again with the person worthy of your love.