Mother! Get a life!

A day in the life of a mom isn’t always a pretty show!! For those moms who have babies and have chosen to stay home with them, it’s a day filled with diapers, crying, accidents, and laundry.

For those moms who have babies and work outside the home, it’s all of those things AND a rushed morning of trying to find the dress that doesn’t have the spit-up and putting the seats in the car to get the babies out. to the playgroup.

For others who have kids in school, it’s a whole different set of crazy, exhausting routines that leave the mom feeling unappreciated and utterly drained.

Many moms expect their husbands to appreciate them and feel a little empty because men have their own set of unmet needs and have a hard time filling you when they’re empty themselves.

If you hold your breath waiting for your kids to appreciate you, you’ll turn blue and die long before you get that much-needed “Thank you, Mom!” that many of us long for.

So is there any hope? Can you find appreciation in this life or do you have to wait until you cross over into glory for God to say, “Well done”? Absolutely not! There is hope in the here and now, but it requires some effort on your part! No more waiting for someone else to appreciate you. You need to get yourself a life!! Before you get mad at me, let me explain!

Two and a half years ago, I was at the bottom of my life. She had been a teacher for 12 years in the public school system. My husband had been a homemaker and part-time actor and pastor. We decided it was time to follow the dreams God had placed in his heart, which was to move to Los Angeles so he could pursue acting as a full-time career and possibly be in TV or movies. In other words, he needed to get a life for himself. I was going to do it!!

So we rented our house in Oregon and moved to a very small apartment in Los Angeles. After a few weeks, when he didn’t get the lead in a major movie, we got hungry, so he needed to get a job. He found a great job at a very large car dealership and began working 70-80 hour weeks as a salesman to help us in very expensive Southern California.

This is where the depressing part comes in. I was a first time housewife to three young children in a huge new city where I was scared to drive and didn’t know anyone and my husband was never home because he worked long hours. I didn’t want to get out of bed and shower every day. I cried all the time and my kids were starting to reflect my bad mood and attitude too. As the old saying goes: “If mom ain’t happy, then no one ain’t happy.” This went on for almost two years! Yuck!!

My friends started telling me that I needed help and even my mother in law suggested that I find a life and seek help. They said I needed to go to the doctor and get medication to improve my mood. So I did. I went for my annual physical, at which point I asked my doctor if he could give me antidepressants for my depression.

First he asked me many questions about my life and about my past. He soon found out that this was an isolated incident and told me that I didn’t need medication, I needed to have a life! Ahh!! The nervous ones!!! I wanted a quick fix and I wanted it NOW! (Note: Many people suffer from chemical imbalances in their bodies and need medication to correct them. I’m not against antidepressants. It just wasn’t the right diagnosis for me.)

Get a life! How do you do that?

Well, I wasn’t going to let this doctor tell me that I needed to have a life. I had a life and it was depressing and boring and I was never appreciated for my efforts!! But, I went looking up what “Get a Life” meant anyway. In my search, I realized that God intends our lives to be wonderful and fulfilling.

So how do you get a life? Here are the steps I took to find my amazing new life:

1. Write down all the things you love. I really like being on the internet meeting and emailing people. I also love to sing. I really enjoy teaching, but not with young children anymore. Do not think too much during this exercise. Just write what comes to mind and don’t sell yourself on what you love. Only YOU know what you’re passionate about and it’s okay to feel the way you do!

2. Research your top 5 passions. Go online and search for those 5 areas that you are most passionate about and see what comes out. Go to the library and check out books on each of those topics. Look in the phone book to see if there are lessons you can take, etc.

3. Pick an area to follow RIGHT NOW! Why wait?? On a piece of paper in large, bold letters, write down what you want to accomplish and set a goal of doing three things a day to move toward your goal. It doesn’t matter if the goal seems too big to accomplish today. Remember that the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. I decided that I wanted to start my own internet business where I could help other moms find their own lives and financial freedom as well.

4. Share your goal with someone who supports you. Be sure not to share your fond new goal and pursuit of a fulfilling life with those in your family and friends who may trample on and belittle your goal. There will always be dream crushers in our lives and you should stay away from those people at this time. I have a dear friend who cheers me on no matter what I’m doing. I told him about my desire to start a business. She not only cheered me on, but she hosted my first candlelit party!

5. Reward yourself frequently. As you reach small milestones, be sure to reward yourself. I told myself that when my business reached a certain level, I would buy myself a new wedding ring. My first wedding ring broke from all the weight gain during my pregnancies and I hadn’t had a ring for over 5 years. I deserved a ring and when I reached my goal I went to the jewelry store and chose my favorite ring and walked out with my reward shining on my finger! It was also Valentine’s Day. What a perfect day to say to myself, “Job well done Kari!” Every time I look at that beautiful ring on my finger, I smile because I know I worked hard and made a difference for so many to earn that reward.

6. Start the process all over again! You don’t need to stop after achieving your first goal. Take a look at your Passion List again, add it and choose a new search! I enjoy motivational speaking and sharing what I have learned to help others have a life. So one of my new goals that I set for myself last spring is to speak at conferences all over the country. Since then, I have spoken in Pennsylvania, Kansas, Las Vegas, and Cleveland. I will speak again in PA in August. I use humor to help others see their own potential and learn how to succeed. I never dared to dream that I could do something like this until I set out to GET A LIFE!

So, what are you waiting for? Take the steps TODAY to get a life and if you need help contact me! I would love to help you! This is how I found my life… helping others find theirs!