6 tips for giving a great wedding speech
I went to a wedding over the weekend and had the opportunity to listen to at least 7 different speeches given by family and friends of the happy couple. The content of all the speeches was very heartfelt and warm, and written from a deep affection for the couple. However, in terms of how the speeches were delivered… well, that’s where there may be some ‘cracks in the pavement’ for some of them.
Of course, it’s not easy to get up in front of a room of 300 people, many of them strangers, and make a speech. So I applaud each and every speaker for making the decision to put themselves in this situation and have the courage to give a speech.
Some speeches had an “edge” to them – they were delivered loudly, clearly and with humor. The others had some ‘problems’, which could have been easily resolved, which would have made them even more welcome. So, based on my sample size of 7 wedding speeches, here are six tips on how to give a great wedding speech, broken down into 2 categories: sound issues and delivery issues.
SOUND PROBLEMS
By far the biggest problems came from trouble hearing the speakers – there were a lot of “what did she say?” going on. But there was nothing wrong with the sound system. So speakers, take note:
1. Speak into the microphone. Take it directly to the mouth if necessary. Every sound system is different, but chances are, if it’s more than 4 or 5 inches from your mouth, your audience won’t hear you very well.
2. Speak clearly and slowly, and don’t mumble. In person-to-person discussions, many of us speak ‘softly’, which means we lower our voices and don’t say things as clearly. Just as difficult to understand are fast talkers. When we are happy and excited, some of us tend to speak a little faster. While this may work with one-on-one conversations, it doesn’t work when you have a microphone in your hand and 300 people straining to hear you. So slow down and speak clearly.
DELIVERY PROBLEMS
3. Make eye contact with all sides of the room when you speak. Yes, the speech is about, and FOR, the bride and groom. But never forget that there is a whole audience listening to your speech, and they deserve to be addressed too.
4. Smile, be upbeat and energetic, and pretend you’re happy to be there (even if you’re so nervous you want to throw up).
And don’t worry if you’re shaking and your paper is shaking. Nobody expects you to be perfect, and most (if not all) of the audience will give you credit for getting there in the first place. And rest assured, there are many people in the audience who would not be willing to give a speech like you. Ever.
FINALLY, A QUICK WORD ABOUT THE CONTENT:
5. Add stories. Everyone loves to hear stories about the bride and/or groom. But choose your stories carefully and make sure they make a relevant point. Example: “Karen was able to learn a fully choreographed dance routine in a matter of hours, which shows how passionate and driven she is.” Make sure the story supports the point you are trying to make about the person.
6. Switch between the second person (“you”) and the third person (“John”). When you want to talk directly to the boyfriend, feel free to do so, as in “John, I can’t believe how lucky you were with this girl.” Vary it up by telling the audience ABOUT Jon, as in “Who would think Jon would have any luck with such an amazing girl?” This way, he’s having a conversation with the audience AND the girlfriend/boyfriend, and everyone feels included.
Giving a wedding speech is no different from giving a speech anywhere else. Remember that you are speaking to a room full of people, not just the bride and groom. Create a heartfelt, funny, story-filled speech that makes a point. Rehearse extensively. And when you’re on stage, be sure to speak loud and clear into the microphone. Then enjoy the accolades of delivering a memorable speech that you’ll get compliments on for a long time to come.
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