Internet addiction and divorce
Internet addiction, pornography and divorce
As a divorce attorney, I see more and more cases where internet addiction, particularly addiction to online pornography, plays a role in divorce, is a factor in custody decisions, and may even be an issue in the division of marital property. In one case, excessive use of the Internet by parents and the resulting negligence of their child played a large role in the eventual custody decision.
Online pornography has been called the “silent killer of the family.” Adultery is now just a mouse click away. In 2004, Dr. Manning testified before the US Congress that 56% of divorces involved obsessive addiction to Internet pornography by a spouse. In a survey of members of the American Academy of Marriage Lawyers, 60% of attorneys thought Internet pornography was linked to higher divorce rates. The American Psychiatric Association has recognized that Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD) is a legitimate health problem. DAI is also being considered for admission as a mental disorder in the DSM-V Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.
Like other addictions, Internet addiction can poison an addict’s social, work, and family relationships. I’ve heard spouses refer to themselves as “cyber-widows.” Excessive time online often results in neglect of family, friends, social activities, and interests. Children especially can be victims of parental online addiction. Young children are harmed if they are inadvertently exposed to Internet pornography. Experts consider that the average age is first exposed to Internet pornography at nine years old. Children may feel a sense of abandonment and neglect due to excessive use of the Internet by their parents and, in the worst case, they may even be abused if the parents get angry when they interrupt them. Extreme cases have been reported in which Internet addiction has even resulted in the death of children. For example, a Florida mother killed her 3-month-old baby for repeatedly crying and disrupting her “Farmville” game. A Korean couple was tried for murder when they let their baby starve while raising a virtual baby online.
The first thing your divorce attorney should do if you suspect that a parent is an Internet addict is find out whether the children have been exposed to any harmful or sexually explicit material and how much time that parent spends on the Internet. Has the parent taken any safety precautions to avoid exposure to sexually explicit material on the Internet? It may be possible to cite Internet sites to determine how much time a parent spends on a particular site. A parent who plays World of Warcraft all day is in no position to argue that they are providing adequate supervision and care for their children. It might even be possible to get a warrant to search the parent’s computer. Court-appointed custody evaluators often ask to see parents’ computers during home visits. In a case reported in Connecticut, the court ordered a couple to exchange their passwords for Facebook and other dating websites as part of the discovery process.
But before you check out your spouse’s computer, a word of caution. Most states have strict privacy laws. Anyone going through a divorce is advised to trust their attorney for incriminating evidence and should not take matters into their own hands. In a California case, the Court of Appeals found that an ex-husband snooping into his ex-wife’s email account during a bitter custody dispute could be “abuse” and a basis for a restraining order. for domestic violence. In one Cincinnati case, the husband was forced to apologize to his wife on his Facebook page or face jail time.
Another aspect of Internet addiction that might surprise those going through a divorce is how it can affect property division. It was a first for me that online creations like avatars, weapons, and imaginary worlds can be valuable marital assets. A virtual space station on the planet Calypso reportedly sold for $ 330,000. The owners of the “Second Life” computer game valued user-to-user transactions at $ 567 million in 2009 and a Chinese woman, Ailin Graef, allegedly acquired $ 1 million worth of virtual real estate. On the other hand, if your spouse is not the virtual mogul and has wasted thousands of dollars on online gaming, you may be able to claim a refund on the grounds that he deliberately misappropriated marriage funds.