Therefore, codependents require as much counseling as the addict.

Does the addiction affect only the individual who suffers from it or does it affect both family, friends and people who are closely associated with the afflicted?

The addict’s life revolves around his/her substance trying to uselessly control it and the lives of the people close to him/her: spouse, children and parents revolve around the addict trying to control his/her use. In both, the Substance/Addiction is the central factor. Just as the addict loses himself and his individuality when consuming, those close to him lose their individuality and live by controlling their consumption.

This attitude is called Co-dependency. Codependency often affects a spouse, parent, sibling, friend, or co-worker of a person affected by alcohol or drug dependency.

• A wife can cover for her alcoholic husband; a mother can make excuses for a child missing school; or a parent may “pull a few strings” to prevent her child from suffering the consequences of criminal behavior.

The problem is that these repeated rescue attempts allow the addicted person to continue on a destructive course. When caring becomes compulsive, the codependent feels that he has fewer options and helplessness in the relationship, but is unable to break the cycle of behavior that causes it. Codependents see themselves as victims.

Therefore, they become enablers for the addict. They submit to the same, deeper patterns of denial.

They have difficulty saying “no,” having fun, and are filled with fear, insecurity, inadequacy, guilt, pain, and shame that they deny. They mask their feelings of confusion and low self-esteem by blaming the other person, as they believe that the other person is the cause or responsible for their emotions. If you stop drinking or using, I will stop feeling the way I do. and I’ll be fine “If I lose my watch in a dark room and look for it in a light room, what are my chances of finding it? almost none… likewise, what are the chances that the codependent will find the solution to the whole Emotional roller coaster that carries inside, in the person afflicted by the Addiction?Bingo!Next to none!

So here, where the addict is intoxicated with alcohol and drugs, the codependent is intoxicated by his emotions.

They do not recognize that there are problems. They don’t talk about them or confront them. They become “survivors”. The codependent person learns to suppress emotions and often sacrifices their needs to care for a sick person. When codependents put the health, well-being, and safety of others before their own, they lose touch with their own needs, desires, and sense of identity. They live believing that they need an external person or substance to be complete.

Most people, when they read this, will be quick to say “I never do that.” The reason behind this is that as children, people are conditioned to live through the expectations of others (codependency). Things like putting them on a rigid schedule and making them eat foods they don’t like instead of offering them choices actually makes them codependent. People are so conditioned by adulthood that they have adopted a false self (codependent) and not realize it. Codependency has become real for them…add Substance here and the scenario multiplies…Codependents require just as much counseling as the addict.