Fear of the unknown and how you can overcome it

In most people there is a deep-seated fear that prevents us from taking control of our lives and shaping them to our liking. It’s a fear that keeps us average, keeps us doing the same things everyone else is doing, simply because it’s familiar.

The fear of the unknown.

You probably know that exact feeling I’m talking about. That flutter in your stomach, that vague discomfort as you approach the edge of familiarity, that warning in your head that can just as easily be misinterpreted as a valid red flag. You know what I want to say.

There are parts of our mind and nature that have only one purpose: to keep us safe. These parts are trained throughout our lives to discern between what is right and what is dangerous. When he accidentally touched the stove burner or hot griddle as a child, that safety center learned from that. When you got too far away from your parents and they called out to you with that worried and scared tone in their voices, that safety center in your head listened and learned. Unfortunately, most people security centers have gone too far in their learning. The lesson he probably internalized was “if it’s unfamiliar, it could be dangerous. Just trust the things you know.”

The upshot of this is that when you get too close to the edge of the familiar, your brain sends out the same warning signals and red flags that it would send if you got too close to the hot stove. It’s there to protect you, but it also keeps you locked in a safe little circle, away from opportunity and growth.

What can you do about it?

Some people can walk through this fence, ignore the warning signs and look for new opportunities. There is a high associated with this behavior that beats any drug. It is precisely that sense of danger that provides the high. Unfortunately, most of us can’t throw ourselves headfirst through the fence (or at least not very often), so is there an alternative for the rest of us chickens who aren’t happy on the fence, but aren’t are we impulsive? enough to throw caution to the wind?

Yes. We have to make the unknown feel familiar.

That may sound strange, but it is very possible. No money needed, no special skills, just a few minutes each day. All you need for this simple technique is your imagination.

Sit in a quiet place for a few minutes (if you have unruly kids or a crazy schedule, you may need to do this in bed every night or even when you have a few minutes to yourself in the bathroom). Close your eyes and think about what has been scaring you. Don’t worry about the fear of even thinking about it. In the privacy of your imagination, you are totally safe. Imagine yourself step by step, doing the activity that has been giving you a hard time. At each step, stop and ask yourself what could go wrong at that point, how likely it really is, and what you can do to avoid problems. What you are doing is looking for the monsters outside the fence and seeing if there really is any danger to worry about. Once this is done, you can imagine yourself following the steps toward your goal, visualizing each part in vivid detail as if you were actually doing it.

The result of this technique is that you can do something over and over again as many times as necessary until it becomes so familiar that fear is not involved. What you are doing is essentially extending the fence to include where you want to go. This is something you can do over and over again, making the fence bigger and bigger to fit anywhere you want. The biggest benefit is that instead of jumping headlong over the fence and then possibly discovering all those problems and “monsters” that your mind has been warning you were there, once you’ve committed yourself, you can explore the land. little by little, and when you hit a snag, you usually saw it coming and already know what to do about it.

There are some people who aren’t afraid of the unknown, and can just logically decide what they want to do and do it (I know, my mom is one of those people), but for the rest of us, this little technique can take away the fear. and the restlessness of the unknown. Give it a try, I think you will like the results.