Middle name surprise
So, it was quite a surprise.
At the age of twelve, his biological father decided that he preferred to terminate his rights rather than pay reasonable alimony. As his dad, well, legally his stepfather, I welcomed the opportunity to legally adopt him, as well as his little sister. The children that I had called mine since they were just under 3 and 5 years old, I had the opportunity to really call them mine. Legally, his last name was the same as that of his biological father, but throughout his school years they had passed by my last name Joshua.
In my heart, they had been mine for some time. But, in the eyes of the law, I was an intruder. I loved them and accepted their love without a real interest in the whole family affair. If something had happened to my wife during those first few years, I would not have had any rights to them. Not that I thought about that, but I did think about that.
We had already endured a problem in high school. A coach who referred to my son by his legal last name instead of mine. Well okay, my son went ahead and waited for the coach to say his legal last name before getting up for the day’s sport. But then the coach said, “I thought you went through Joshua.” To which my son replied in the affirmative, the coach replied in a sarcastic voice: “Then sit down until I say your name!” this continued for several weeks before our son told us. Whichever name the coach called, my son would respond, being immediately dressed by the coach in a condescending manner. My wife and I visited the manager and told him that the action was unacceptable. The director said he would call the coach in his office so we could discuss it with him ourselves. This only brought me one more comment, “He informs you, you see that it is fixed. He should not continue this intimidation tactic any longer.”
Within a week, the coach pushed us aside to tell us that he didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
With adoption on the horizon, we were presented with a real twist. Since our son was twelve years old, he had to sign a statement, attested to by a notary, that he agreed to the adoption. We sat down and talked to him, he was glad the adoption was happening although I’m sure, at the same time he was wondering why his biological father was willing to give him up. When we discussed the fact that his last name would be the same as mine in everything legal from that point on, he was visibly pleased.
Then, with a mocking look on her face, she said, “Can I change my middle name too?”
My wife and I looked at each other and she said, “Well I guess. You don’t like your middle name?”
“I hate him,” was all he said.
My wife nodded and said, “Well then, yes, if you want to change it at the same time, that would be fine. What do you want it to be?”
He looked directly at me and simply said my first name. I felt tears come to my eyes. “Do you want your middle name to be the same as my first name?”
He nodded.
All I said was, “Wow!”
He is now 33 years old and I still feel a heartbeat when I hear his full name. When he graduated from high school, after college, it was very exciting for me to know that he cared enough for me at the young age of twelve to take not only my last name, but also my first name. I will treasure that thought for the rest of my life.
Woof!