“Safety first” when it comes to sex, in a whole different way

As you know, being able to inspire confidence in a woman is one of the “Big Four” traits that define success with women in general.

Lately, the more I think about it, the more and more convinced I am that the third component, inspiring confidence in her, is the lynchpin of the entire sequence…especially when it comes to getting past the “Platonic stage.” of a relationship

We all know “safety first” when it comes to HAVING sex.

But it’s also “safety first” when it comes to GETTING to the point of a sexual relationship.

Essentially, it is so.

I think we are well aware of the stereotypes about what men and women usually look for when they meet MOTOS (Members of the opposite sex).

While men are often seen as wanting to get women into bed QUICKLY, women are seen as wanting to force men into long-term relationships as soon as possible.

But here’s the thing: Those stereotypes don’t necessarily hold true all the time, do they?

Sometimes a guy will meet a particularly amazing woman and push VERY HARD to make her his girlfriend… almost immediately. I think we can all relate to that, at least on some level.

Also, we’ve all heard reports over and over again from men with a pretty good “game” that women are actually AS MUCH IF NOT MORE into sex as we are as men. However, for many of us as men, that statement doesn’t add up. Some of us just haven’t seen reality in the REAL WORLD, so we CANNOT relate to it.

Well, what if I told you that I think NEITHER “desire for sex” NOR “need for security” is gender specific?

That’s how it is. BOTH men and women want sex. And BOTH men and women should feel “safe” too.

And I firmly believe that SAFETY is essentially a “barrier” that needs to be removed before sexual intercourse is possible.

So if things are so SIMILAR between men and women, how come they are so, um… DIFFERENT so often when the rubber meets the road?

Simple. Women are MUCH, MUCH more often the ones who FEAR for their safety when interacting with MOTORCYCLES.

As I’ve said before, the man a woman needs to feel most protected from is the one she’s WITH.

That’s YOU, man. So first you have to know that he can TRUST that you won’t hurt him, and then that you have HIS best interests in mind.

We also know that women are almost universally attracted to a man who can lead.

They also want a man with ambition, you know… A PLAN. Knowing that you are that kind of man frees a woman to WORRY LESS about both the present and the future.

Meanwhile, what about us as guys?

Wired to be driven by ambition for ourselves and free from the potential threat to our personal safety when with a woman, SAFETY IS NOT SO MUCH AN ISSUE.

We just don’t need it from a woman, at least in the physical sense. And if we have the audacity to want a woman to “support” us, we end up feeling less of a man.

Argue with me if you have to, but I don’t exactly know any guy who gets a sense of satisfaction out of that situation.

In fact, think of it this way: if a man depends on a woman for ANY KIND of security, even in the “short term” when he first meets her or goes on a date with her, how does he come out?

You got it: NEEDED and/or INSECURE.

And what happens when THAT is the case? Correct again: NO SEX.

Is all this starting to make sense?

Well here is the most impressive part of all.

Who are the women who tend to “break the mold” when it comes to being as eager for sex as soon as most men are in a relationship?

That’s how it is. It is women who are SELF-SUFFICIENT. It is women who have learned to rely heavily on THEMSELVES for their safety and protection.

Single women who are a little older, have experienced a divorce, and/or are raising children alone have been there, done that, and learned to find their way in the world WITHOUT a man around.

And they are precisely the ones often cited as being more likely to be sexually aggressive…and MUCH sooner than other women.

Think about the whole concept of “MILF” and you’ll have a good example of what I mean.

I have experienced this phenomenon myself when dating women who fit any or all of the criteria I mentioned above.

In fact, I remember observing MOST TIMES that thirty-something divorced moms pretty much conform to the MALE STEREOTYPE of appearing “sex-focused.”

It’s like to them all the women who repeat the “don’t need a man” mantra are just trying to convince themselves to feel that way (because they do!)

In the meantime, all it takes to turn such a woman on sexually is to turn her femininity on with your masculinity. Assuming you can get past the EASIEST part of making her feel safe, namely that you’re not likely to be an ax murderer or otherwise physically harm her, IT’S ON.

Confidence and masculinity (also known as the first two components of the “Big Four”) are mostly all it takes when it comes to a woman who can “fend for herself” in the world.

But don’t get CAUGHT DEAD depending on her for your safety. She won’t be in the mood to “carry” you like that.

In fact, that will undermine your masculinity, of course, which means (ironically) that you’ll be disqualified in his mind as anything more than “just a friend.”

And here’s a hint: If you HAVE dated single moms in your thirties and found them to be secretive and sexually intent, then it’s time to take a look in the mirror. You MAY be “failing to deploy” more than you ever thought.

Do you still need more proof that what I am saying, incredible as it may seem, may be rooted in some semblance of reality?

Consider Maslow’s old and trusty Hierarchy of Human Needs. What resides directly above “security needs” in the pyramid?

Yes… sexuality. Get over the “safety hurdle”, and it’s all about FULFILLING SEXUAL NEEDS from there.

This is real, gentlemen. It is 100% imperative that you make a woman feel safe with you. And as a man, it is equally necessary to depend on himself for his OWN safety and protection.

But you’ve always known both… at least in principle. You are now armed with the framework of WHY everything is like this and how it all fits together.