Overcoming what you can’t overcome

Endings rarely happen in the same ray of sunshine as dreams; the kind we imagine pierced through the darkness, filtered through clouds, mixed with starlight, and found its way to our hearts in the path of a ray of sunshine. Is magic! Sometimes the endings are brutal; Suddenly life changes on a dime and all that magic turns into a wrenching pain that will never go away. We know with a sickening certainty that we will never get over this loss. The only option is to get over it.

Deeply painful losses seem to tear apart a part of our hearts; no anesthesia, no counseling, just pure pain that feels like a part of our world has ended. It comes from a phone call that says a loved one is gone, a letter or email that says it’s over, the kind that assures us we never really matter, the abrupt end of a friendship we thought was forever. or a betrayal that defies explanation. . Something important has ended in our lives. The bread consumes everything, it takes on a life of its own with a heartbeat that we can literally hear.

You can seek advice, join complaint recovery groups, and explore a number of other options that may be helpful; they are seeking recovery with you. So how do you deal with the fact that you will simply never get over what has happened? That there is no real recovery?

Acceptance; When the friends have gone home, you’ve completed group engagement or counseling and the pain is still as real as the first day, it’s time to accept that you’ll never get over what’s happened. But you can get over it.

You may notice that the sky appears cloudier than normal; things look cloudy most of the time. Look around; Let’s see if this sounds true to you. The sun breaks through the clouds when you recognize that it is so, and that it is caused by your own pain. Oddly enough, when you recognize the cause, the cure begins. You give your subconscious mind permission to see the sun breaking through the clouds.

Let’s go; if he has lost someone who once felt like the whole world to him, he may be reluctant to let go. If they have died, you may feel guilty about letting them go. Strangely, we believe that as long as we feel the pain with the same intensity as the first day, we remain loyal to the person, accepting the pain as proof. However, holding on causes the pain; let go of the idea that you should hold on. The loss doesn’t go away, but getting over this loss means letting go of the idea that you should embrace the pain.

Let go of the guilt; this means that he no longer needs to live his life looking in the rear view mirror. The big things in our life are mostly out of our control. You are not responsible; something or someone has changed. It is a part of life. Imagine this event as a journey that you have started; one where you are the driver. The vehicle window that has the widest view is the windshield. That is important. It demands that your attention be focused primarily on what lies ahead in the journey. Side windows reflect the scenery on the journey and provide an opportunity to see what lies along the way. The smallest point of view is the rear view mirror, which allows you to look behind you to take note of what has already happened and how it may affect what is in front of you. Feeling guilty does not benefit anyone; the only person who feels anything at all is the one who has chosen to embrace guilt. Does it feel good to embrace the guilt? If not, let it go. It has no value at all, to anyone.

Create a visual image of the bread; one that encompasses all the events that remain clearly etched in your mind. Visualize it enclosed in a bubble of light; then add a ribbon connecting it to the pain bubble. Now imagine a sword that cuts the tape in half, quickly and safely. Inhale or quickly absorb the tape that remains attached to you. Then blow the bubble out of your sight. Quietly and gently walk away from the scene, as if you were walking out of a room. Close the door when you have left the room. Practice this exercise whenever the pain begins to overwhelm you. Works. The pain is deeply embedded like a memory trace. Replace it with one that allows you to walk away and close the door.

Wake up each day and count the good things, the blessings you got from the person involved in the pain. When images of the things that caused the most pain come up, put them in the bubble and let go. It’s okay to let go of the pain, choosing not to hurt is not getting over this, it’s getting over it.